SOME women like to date big, muscly men who can look after them.

Not me - I like a man who I reckon I could take in a fight.

It's not that I go for wimps, mind - I just like to think that if I stepped into a boxing ring with someone I'm seeing, the fight would be scored on points rather than a clean knock out by either party.

That's not to say I WANT to engage in a bout of fisticuffs with the man in my life. In fact, I've never even slapped a boyfriend - not a current one, anyway.

It's just that rugby types or gym kings aren't my type. I don't want to be looked after and I don't like men who can or try to dominate me - be it physically or emotionally.

There are, no doubt, many reasons for this. I dare say "single parent family" and "ardent fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are among them.

Anyway, I think it's a good thing. Apart from anything else, as I'm on the tall side I'm fishing from a smaller pond of eligible bachelors who can tower over me than, say, my friend Laura who doesn't quite scrape five foot.

And the fact I don't consider "ruggedly butch" to be an essential quality in a beau is proving to be rather fortunate in my new relationship.

Of course, I knew from the outset that the chap in question was slim, well-groomed, and nicely turned out. I'd noticed on our first date that he was clean-shaven, wearing after-shave and had clipped his nails. If I'd given it any thought I would probably have guessed he moisturised.

But it was a good six weeks before I began to realise the extent of his "metrosexuality".

It happened when I kissed his cheek and smelt a familiar musty odour.

"Have you been using Fake Bake?" I asked.

"No," he responded as if I'd deeply offended him. "It's moisturiser with a hint of tan!"

I almost wet myself laughing, mostly because of his choice of words - but he is a copywriter so we'll let him off.

But if he wants to use fake tan, why not? I do and it makes a lot more sense than cooking himself in the sun and winding up wrinkly and possibly getting skin cancer.

Indeed, as our relationship has progressed and more of his toiletries have found their way onto my bathroom shelf I've never balked.

And, to be honest, I was quite impressed when he showed me how he used his GHD hair straighteners to iron his shirt collars.

It turns out he thought it was best to keep his grooming routine under wraps in the early days until he'd gauged how I was likely to react. But apparently I made a comment about how it was nice that he was always well turned out, and he figured that was the green light for him to be as "metro" as he wanted.

After all, I like him looking and smelling nice and if I can't get that way on fresh air and water, how can I expect him to?

Also, if I'm honest I quite like it - it's better than one of my friends' boyfriends who has such an on/off relationship with the shower that he often emits a rather sharp animal smell. She's got used to it. I'm glad to say I don't have to.

My friend Dave, who incidentally is six feet tall, agrees with me. He says: "Using a bit of moisturiser won't kill you. Borrowing your girlfriend's products because you don't have the stones to buy them yourself probably will. I don't think height matters at all, though extreme differences make kissing awkward and who gives a damn what your mates think? Cowardice is less sexy than shortness."

Laura, my petite pal, says: "I think it's nice to have a balance between a metrosexual man and a manly man. In other words, you want your boyfriend to be well groomed but you don't want to walk in to find him using your bikini wax strips!

"I think the main thing is I don't like a guy to be overly worried or self-conscious about his appearance. Call me traditional but I like my men to be totally confident with who they are and if I was with a guy who was constantly moaning that he needed to wax his chest or pluck his eyebrows I'd probably send him packing! Besides, it's our job to freak out about body grooming!"

May says: "My man is largely unreformed and carries out few, if any additions to the most basic of toiletry requirements. He does, however, make use of moisturiser but not for the purpose of attempting to keep the signs of ageing at bay; according to him, night time moisturiser helps him sleep and daytime moisturiser refreshes him.

"I occasionally pounce on him and force him to have his eyebrows trimmed but, beyond this, I am quite happy to take him as he is.

"Having said that, I see nothing remiss in a man who wants to do a little more and, provided it does not move into excessiveness, I am all for men giving some thought to their appearance."

I should point out, that while I'm quite happy with my bloke faking a tan, I'm a fan of him having such a hairy chest that his friends refer to him as a gorilla and haven't tried to steer him in the direction of face masks or toner.

I think it's all part of accepting someone for who they are and enjoying that, rather than trying to change them. And when you get to know someone, their idiosyncrasies are all part of the appeal. And there's a lot to find appealing about a man who embraces his metro side - especially when you can pinch the expensive toiletries he leaves in your bathroom!

3:03pm Tuesday 22nd July 2008

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