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IT is the question that seems to come straight after initial inquiries about Ben. Yes he's fine thanks, he sleeps well, eats better seems to enjoy life in the main.
"So when you having another one then?"
It seems inevitable that as things seems to be progressing nicely with bundle of joy I must be thinking about having another.
Wrong. I feel that I have just got a handle on this parenting malarkey. I have settled back into work. I have got a rough idea of what I'm doing day to day, which, believe me, should not be taken for granted. And Ben is a happy and contented chappie, crawling about and banging into things until his heart is content. Why-o-why would I want to bodge all that up?
I have to say when we first talked about having kids the thinking was we would like to have two and if we managed it then the likelihood was that we would want them close together.
But instead of thinking I could cope quite happily with another one now Ben is much more independent, I just want to enjoy the moment thanks.
It's the old selfish gene kicking in again I think but I have to say I am liking our family of three at the moment, I am enjoying being back at work, I am loving having our evenings to ourselves and the occasional night out.
I kind of think I have earned it for a bit. I get the impression it is almost expected for you to have another one, and immediately at that. The hope is that you improve the chances of them getting on and get the whole baby producing thing out the way in a relatively short space of time (which I can see the merit in). But I just have no yearning to go through a pregnancy with an excitable toddler running into things all over the place, while I am trying to juggle all of the above with a constant need to go for a pee.
Having said all that I am conscious of the old biological clock ticking and while I am not in any rush to extend my family, that is not to say I never want to - I just want it all don't I?
There is a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that I should crack on or risk blowing my chances altogether. Not a month goes by without some study on the problems of conceiving a child. Last week it was a warning about drinking too much coffee and the risk of sub-standard sperm after the age of 35. I just had visions of lethargic sperm having a break in their desperate search for impregnation, stopping for a quick 40 winks because they just couldn't be bothered any more. I ask you, it's their one mission in life, their whole reason for being and they can't even do that, it does not bode well for later life ladies.
Seriously though, it is a concern for young couples these days. I was convinced we would have trouble in that department but as it turned out thankfully not. One weekend away in Padstow, a Pimms or two later and Bob's your uncle. It is a tricky one to call, but I'm sure I'll know when the time is right. Until then I'll just have to be on my guard for those sneaky weekend breaks, and maybe encourage Ben's dad to give his swimmers some motivational speeches.
2:18pm Tuesday 15th July 2008
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Useful Numbers
Southampton National Childbirth Trust, antenatal classes, support after birth
0870 421 4451
Southampton City Council Social Services
023 8083 3336
Parentline Plus advice line, for any parenting issue
0808 800 2222
NHS Direct 0845 4647
Breastfeeding Network, advice and support for breastfeeding
0870 900 8787
Association of Breastfeeding mothers (24hr helpline)
0807 813 1481
Southampton Dental Helpline, to help find a dentist
023 80338 336
Parent Support Line, advice for families affected by drugs
023 8039 9764